Learning

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

question

why do people who pride themselves on being so open minded, turn their hearts and mind off completely to anything that has to do with Christ?

I suppose He told us that would happen.

to see who I could have been

what if when we die, we're shown not a recount of our lives, but a reel of our wasted potential?
i've seen videos, mostly in a high school youth group, that show teenagers dying in some horrific car accident, some who are Christians and some who are not. each are shown a "video" of their lives, documenting both poor and wise choices they made. the Christians, of course, go skating into heaven, while the non-Christians/poor choice makers (because Christians don't make poor choices, of course) tremble and wail, fall to their knees, and beg for forgiveness on the wrong side of the Jordan.
while i'm fairly certain there won't be a heavenly video screen at all, and Christians obviously make poor choices daily (or, like me, hourly and on-going), i've begun wondering if when i die, i'll see who i could have been, compared with who i was. perhaps a scarier video than one exhibiting my poor choices....not that those won't be countless.
i've spent so much of my life paralyzed with insecurity, laziness, bitterness, cynicism, and on and on, to be shown who i could have been could leave me wailing with the damned. and while "Grace will lead me home," it won't change the decades spent wasting away the person i was created to be.


though now that i write it, and admit that it won't change it, perhaps this Grace i speak of can draw me out of this wasted potential. or at least decrease the time spent wallowing in apathy. i've been mulling over a question as i begin preparing to apply to Mars Hill Graduate School. a question that's kind of the theme of the school: "What if i truly believed the Gospel could change the world?" now i wonder, "what if i truly believed the Gospel could change me?" a new revelation (for me).

unity: i'm pretty sure it can be more than a catchy word on a bumper sticker

So, along with the rest of the world, I've been watching the Olympics. And while the athletes are incredible, and I value the time and hard work they devote to their sports, not to mention their ridiculous amount of talent, the thing I love the most about the Olympics is that thousands of athletes from nations all over the world come together. Throughout the history of the Olympics, folks from warring nations compete against one another and embrace when the competition is over. Just recently, Russian and Georgian competitors both medaled in their event and went on to say there are no hard feelings between them, as their arms were draped around one another. In fact, one of them said that if the world thought more like Olympic athletes, there would be no war. When the Olympics originated in Greece, warring city-states would cease battles so that athletes could pass through safely.
And it's not just the Olympics that draws people together...obviously. A few months ago when the U23D movie came out, I sat in awe as thousands of people from all over South America joined together, singing unanimously the words of the biggest rock band in the world. Bands like U2 could play on the boarder of Israel and Palestine, with citizens of each joining together belting out the words to "With Or Without You." It's cliche' to say that music can save the world, but maybe we ought to give it a shot.
Thus, it's become evident that unity is not impossible. If people like Michael Phelps and Bono can unite the citizens of the world, what the hell is wrong with world leaders that they can't get their acts together? Really, it's not that hard. I believe there's some sort of rule that's golden or something....

But there I go, being all idealistic again. Phelps and Bono....they're not world leaders. They're extreme people who make us hope, think, and dream together. Phelps isn't even trying to do this, it just happens because he's a freaking bionic fish disguised as a human being. But it happens none the less. We, as a whole world, are captivated by him. Even his competitors cheer him on as he chases history.
So, for the next 10 or so days, while wars continue, we should cherish this little bit of unity that is taking place in Beijing.Citizens of China have been cheering on any athlete in their sight. Let's cheer for them, too.

1

Ever noticed how wonder and wander have only a 1 letter difference? I almost titled my blog "words of a wanderer," but wandering is exhausting, and I'm not sure I always hope to be a wanderer, though I intend on being a wonderer forever. However, it may turn out that a wanderer is something I'll continue to be for some time as well.

I am currently at my grandparents house in the Black Hills. My grandmother and I just came back from town, and had an interesting conversation on the way back. It seems I'm quite consistently trying to justify my idealism with real life. It's occured to me that my idealism makes me into a hypocrite.

I was listening to NPR on my way out here on Wednesday. On Dakota Midday the host was interviewing Dick Myers, author of Why We Hate Us. I found the title intriquing. The book is about why as Ameicans we have so much, an abundance really, yet we are cranky, angry, and cynical most of the time. He cited the lack of community as a primary reason for this. My grandma and I started talking about this, and we both agreed that our society has become so dependent on luxuries (cell phones, computers, multiple cars, etc) and this has lead to the deconstruction of communities. Then she brought up an interesting point. "It's impossible to move backward," she said. People aren't going to give up their cell phones, video games, computers, and what not. "There just aren't enough people who are willing to do this." She said all this in response to my comment that many emerging churches are really trying to stress simplicity and commuinity. I was struck for a moment, suddenly thinking maybe we're fighting a losing battle. What's the point if this idealistic notion of simplicity can never be attained?

Then another thought occured to me. I keep looking outward at the "we." "We," being the Church with a big C, as well as society, I think. First, I have to look inward. I've had this constant inner struggle I'm needing to work out that is not letting my ideals make me into a hypocrite. It's true, I'm probably not going to give up my computer, cell phone, or whatever else. But I can use these things responsibly.

It's true, and I hate to admit it, but our society can't go back. No...it won't go back. But as an individual I can live the way I believe life should be lived, and surround myself with others who value those things as well. I want to live genuinely. And I hate using that word, because it's so cliche' right now, but it's the truth. As long as I'm letting my ideals make me a hypocrite, I'm not living genuinely. Thus, it's the every day small choices I make that are the significant ones. I know I'm probably way behind the times here, as most of my friends have figured this out a long time ago, but I think I was trying to incorporate too much. I can't change my whole life without changing small parts first. The choices I make show what I value, and I've not been super impressed with myself in many of these choices, particularly when it comes to sacrificing something I enjoy or think I need. And so, I set out to live considerately, in each decision that I make. And perhaps through these small choices, my whole life will finally resemble the ideals I spout. The whole society will never change, but it's only a losing battle if I join them without a thought....or maybe even with one.