Anytime I make a mixed CD, it ends up being a near "best of Derek Webb," cd. With all the craziness the United States election brings, this song is pretty much all I can think of.
I’m so tired of these mortal men with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin scared of their enemies, scared of their friends and always running for re-election so come to DC if it be thy will because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill
you can always trust the devil or a politician to be the devil or a politician but beyond that friends you’d best beware ’cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill
[Bridge] all of our problems gonna disappear when we can whisper right in that President’s ear he could walk right across the reflection pool in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit
you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his you can trust in his power to come to your defense it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one so don’t hold your breath or your vote until you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill
Coldplay's song "Lost" seems to be fitting. I'm in the exact same place I was two years ago. I've felt for sometime that coming back from Seattle was like backing my car into a mud puddle.Going backwards and getting stuck. Now the wheels are spinning in place, tossing mud on my surroundings, as I sit stationary.
I'll finish up at USF in December....again. I felt my time in Sioux Falls was up in 2006. Then I forgot that. Now I remember. I'm learning to embrace that part of myself that isn't content to sit idle. Not everyone is blessed with a desire to go. So I'll go. I just have to figure out...Where?
I'm excited to be taking a writing class again. It's so good to bring writing forward from the back burner. I'm probably going to post some of the stuff I write for class. Here's the first essay I wrote this semester.
Waves (or The Day I Saw God)
In 1923, poet William Carlos Williams wrote, “so much depends upon a red wheelbarrow.” Well, pardon the thievery, Mr. Williams, I must insist, that in fact, so much depends upon the ocean. Until last year, I’d forgotten how big the ocean is. It sounds a silly thing to say, I know. Obviously the ocean is gigantic, who forgets that? Though large it is, it is the vastness that makes me stand in awe. It is here, gazing upon the ocean, mouth agape at its awesomeness, that one stares into the face of an entity infinitely bigger than the self. Together, here, on the shore of the sea, Christians, Atheists, Agnostics, and others find a commonality in the immensity of such a sight. Though perhaps others experience different, I saw God at the Ocean.
I awoke in the apartment that was still quite foreign to me, in a city I couldn’t yet tell would be home. Shifting on the futon my hosts had so graciously allowed me for the week, I stared at the grey hovering masses of mist and cloud passing the window, wondering what I might do with my time that bleak Sunday morning. The previous Sunday morning found me snug in the bed of the wicker room, while my grandmother busily placed the Christmas decorations back in what would be their cardboard homes for the next 12 months. Just weeks prior to that, my college diploma was plopped in my hands, my roommates had moved on, and the end of an era came crashing down around me.
Not more than a month earlier, I was to be found sitting at a desk three times a week studying the book of Genesis. Being in so much contact with Abraham at the end of an era is a precarious thing when you’re the owner of a restless heart, or you’ve just quit your job, and have nearly everything you own in your car. Or all of the above.
So six days after deciding to move to Seattle and three days after arriving there, I listened to the hum of the city below me. Seeing as how I couldn’t look for a job or a place to live as it was Sunday, I came up with the only logical solution. I was going to the Ocean. Geography will tell you that Seattle is not situated directly next to the Pacific Ocean. Growing up in a Midwestern landlocked state will tell you that is not important when you’ve just driven 1500 miles. What’s 100 more?
After a lunch at Barbara’s by the Sea, a quaint little café’ overlooking the docks, I pulled my car into a parking lot next to the breaking wall. As I opened my door my ears were greeted by the sound of thunderous waves demanding to know why I hadn’t been to visit in so long. I ran to them as after a long lost love. They were a long lost love, and we had found each other at last. And we embraced.
I stood at the edge of the water, staring into the infinite sea. I waited. At any given moment I would be engulfed, the vastness would overtake me and I would be swept out to sea, forever to be with my beloved. But, alas, the waves landed consistently at my feet, making fall in the same place they had collapsed daily for millennia upon millennia. This would not be the day I would be taken. Today, only my toes would taste its frigid kiss, my nostrils seduced with its cool salty air.
I drew back from the line where water met earth. I pulled my scarf nearer, as the January wind blew in harshly against my face. I found myself entranced by broken sea shells that littered the shore. I felt an affinity for their beautiful brokenness and saw myself in them. I took my place on a piece of driftwood, piled up with thousands of other pieces the ocean had enticed in some far off land and spit out miles away from home. The dull grey sky loomed overhead.
And then, they arrived. Silhouette’s down the shore, making their way toward my ocean. I burned with anger that others would infringe on my interlude with the sea. I’d have cast stones, had my good Midwestern upbringing not thought it impolite.Yet as I sneered, the two silhouettes took their places silently on the sandy shore, assuming the same position I found myself in, gazing at the boundless sea, waiting to be engulfed, swept up by their beloved. Then suddenly, as if granted permission after a silent prayer, a single silhouette strode toward water. His shadowy surfboard hit the waves and he sailed away from the shore. He paddled farther out and my heart chased him, envious of his ability to be joined with the water. As he made his home among the waves, my eyes found their way to his companion, sitting silently on the shore, still, as I was, contemplating the sea. The sky began to send us a mist. Neither of us moved. The sight was too grand. From behind the mist came the setting sun. No bright orb present, but an orange glowing curtain draping itself over us. The radiant mist hung heavily as even the infinite waters were absorbed by the light. What were Moses’ thoughts when God placed him in a cleft and passed by in all his glory? Here sat mortals contemplating the infinite, the infinite then dwarfed by the divine. Surely, this is how Moses saw, nestled in the cleft, eyes upon the ocean of God.
Check out http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html Here are some anagrams of my first and last name:
As Smiles Go (my favorite...kind of wish I would have titled my blog that)
Me Is Go Lass-true! I am a lass who goes. As Less Go Mi Gas Mess Oil--oil for gas got us in this mess (ie, iraq) Gas Lose Mis Gas So Miles--i have gas, so i can go miles. makes all the sense in the world Gas So Smile-you know that's just funny Less Mis Ago-it's true...I'm more me every day! I Mess Goals --yep, that too Goal Is Mess Mess Is Goal--have you ever seen my room? You'd think it was my goal. Sea Log Miss-I don't know about the log, but I sure miss the sea Sale Go Miss Males Go Sis Ages Mi Loss--I'm sure that will ring true in a few years Ages Slim So--isn't it the opposite? Mega Sis Sol--yep, my sister brings major sunshine Game Is Loss A Semi Gloss--like paint. partial artist. A Miss Ogles--I was told I look like a lesbian, by a lesbian. Not that that's bad. I don't know what a lesbian looks like. I like all the lesbians I know. Lass Egoism Missal Goes--I do have a tendency to just take off... Sigmas Oles--hooray for taking greek! Sigma Loses-Boo for losing all the knowledge I learned in greek Gasses Limo Images Loss and last but not least, another personal favorite: Ales Go Miss---feel free to add the ing
For several years now, I've had a mental list of well known people I'd like to sit down and have coffee with. I actually got to sit down with one of them, before I'd even written down such a list. 5 1/2 years ago, I sat at Starbucks in Little Five Points, in Atlanta, GA with Jay Bakker (Son of Jim and Tammy Faye). Here are others that I've yet to cross off my list:
Kathleen Norris Alex Trebek Jane Goodall Krista Tippett Ann Lamott Samantha Brown Chris Martin Derek Webb Shane Claiborne Greg Graffin
Of course this list is by no means finished. Any recommendations are welcome, and I'm sure I'll be continuing to add more as well.
